I
have been brewing on this for a while so I shall attempt to make sense of my
thoughts.
Our
society is built on expectation. We are conceived and from the moment our
parents are aware of a new life, there is an expectation. For example, we
expect a physically perfect, healthy baby. We are born and the expectations
persist. We are expected to fit into a societal ‘norm’ which dictates thoughts
and behaviour. Some parents expect child prodigies and supreme athletes. Most
parents don’t expect such extremes but they do place pressures on children to
achieve certain academic success and sporting prowess.
As
children, we are raised to believe we must meet these expectations. What a
burden! As young adults we perpetuate the cycle because we know no different.
To add to this, we create great expectations for ourselves, as well as for our
friends and future partners. Think about the fairy tale white wedding, with a
happy ending.
What’s
the point? This type of living is doomed. Despite our best efforts, we remain
individuals, with our own agendas (of which we are often unaware) and as such,
we will often not meet our own expectations. It is also highly unlikely that we
will fulfil those that others have of us. This inherently causes tension and
hurt. These emotions are expressed in difficult family dynamics, failed
friendships and bitter-ending romantic attachments.
I
propose that we are honest with ourselves about who we are, what we believe in
and what we truly desire. This takes effort and is an ongoing exercise. We are
bombarded with television, social media and the busyness of our lives. How
would we find the time to ‘know’ ourselves? It is much easier to lose ourselves
in societal behaviours. It’s a way of life and has ‘served’ us for generations.
Not true!
When
we intend to discover out innermost being, we are able to appreciate our wants
and needs. Then we are able to communicate these to the people we care about.
But, we should not have an expectation that they will fulfil them. Other
individuals are not under any obligation to meet our needs. We are solely
responsible for our own happiness.
This
brings me to the second concept around expectation. What if we built a world
without expectation? What would happen if we allowed our children to connect
with their souls to discover what makes then happy? Could we guide them to
follow their passion, instead of the money? Would these children become the new
generation that stands up for themselves and develops a new society? In so
doing, can we accept that everyone has their own path to follow? If our paths
cross and we meet each others’ needs, at the time, isn’t that beautiful? A
reason to rejoice? Without expectation we could move in and out of each others’
spaces without inducing hurt or anger.
What
a wonderful world!
